Who Were You Before The World Told You Who To Be?

 

What happens when the world rewrites your story before you’ve had the chance to live it? 

This is a reflection on identity, loss, and the journey back to self.

I still remember the days when life was so free and all I cared about was being myself. I played freely, ate without concern for the next meal, and spoke without rehearsing. I acted without thinking too much, and danced like a free bird.

Back then, I didn’t need to follow rules or think about what society might say. I just lived. Dreams felt natural, and passion came from a place of freedom, not overthinking. We all had those moments when joy was effortless and dreams felt within reach. 

But somewhere along the way, the world began whispering rules, and eventually, those whispers became commands. I was told that things that once felt cool weren’t cool anymore. And I couldn’t help but ask, what changed?

Societal Shaping 

We live in a world shaped by familial expectations, cultural norms, gender roles, religion and even social media. They’ve molded us into a version of ourselves that we barely recognize. 

Though we’re born as individuals, the world finds a way to pry into that uniqueness. We end up leaving ourselves behind. 

I felt this shift as I grew. Many of us felt it too. I began to edit myself, my behavior, my thoughts and the way I acted. I started worrying about “what people may think.” I buried the part of me that allowed me to be me. 

Most of us had dreams we wanted to realize. But as we grew older, those dreams clashed with what our parents wanted. Then we’re left with two options: defy them and bear the tag of an unfilial child, or bury your dreams to satisfy theirs. 

Then there’s social media exposing us to a life we know nothing about. Everyone has an opinion. Put yourself out there, and suddenly, people want to tell you what to do, how to do it, and how you should live. The gender wars, the cultural clash and religious differences all shape our mindset. 

So we start treading carefully, like we’re walking on eggshells. We hide our true selves and present a version that sits well with the world. Deep within, there’s always an unsettling feeling of loss, confusion and longing. That’s our true self begging for release. 

Then I ask again: where did it all go wrong?

Healing and Discovery 

Deep down, our inner child wants to play without worries again. The dreams we buried, just to live the dreams of others, want to see the light again. 

Reflecting on all this, I think back to those we called the “problem child.” We grew up believing there had to be one in every family. But now, as adults, we see that they bore that tag because they refused to conform or bury their true selves. 

They went for what their hearts desired and didn’t care what society thought. And when you look at them, they’re not stuck in the same cycle of confusion and loss. 

This is a call to start reclaiming our identity. We need to learn, unlearn and rediscover. It’s time to stop hiding and release the caged version of ourselves. Growth may change our perspectives and mindset, but it shouldn’t change our identity. Get creative, go to therapy, and most of all, involve God.

For me, healing meant peeling back the layers. For all of us, healing might begin with listening to that buried voice. We’re all in the process. And if you’re not, this is your call to begin. It may be the start of something beautiful. 

You just need to listen. Your buried dreams might be whispering, the child in you wants to dance again without fear. Listen closely. That voice might just lead you home.