The Mindset That Almost Broke Me

There was a time when my way of consoling myself was through negativity. I failed to realize it at first.

But every decision I made was rooted in doubt. I set goals with a negative mindset, and I never believed things could work out for me.

This wasn’t because I wanted to fail, but because I thought expecting the worst would somehow protect me from disappointment.

Whenever I wanted to embark on a project or do something beneficial, I would say to myself, “It won’t work out.”

It might sound strange or ridiculous, but it was my truth. It was my own way of making things work, or at least, that was what I believed.

I thought if I approached things negatively, they’d somehow turn out positively. And sometimes, they did.

That’s what made it dangerous. I held on to the belief that negativity was a strategy and a way of attracting positivity. But in truth, it was a shield, a heavy one.

The Cost of That Mindset

That mindset was destroying me faster than I could imagine. It became my default.

I began to see others and myself through a negative lens. Whenever I had a goal to achieve, my first thought was, “It won’t work out.”

If someone shared their dreams with me, I didn’t respond with hope or encouragement. I would always say, “What if it doesn’t work out?”

The voice in my head got louder. It told me I wasn’t enough and I started to believe it.

It damaged my relationships. Friends stopped sharing their plans with me.

People around me dreaded opening up, afraid I might spoil their excitement with my negativity. It was a hellhole, and I placed myself in it.

The Shift

I didn’t change overnight. That mindset had lived in me for a long time, and for a while, it felt comforting.

But everything shifted after I lost something I really wanted. That loss made me question everything.

I started recalling past moments. How I shut down possibilities before they even had a chance.

So I took caution. I began to rethink my thoughts. I didn’t force myself to be positive. I just let things flow. My thoughts changed from “I can’t do this” to "Let's see how it goes.”

No words of affirmation, no negativity, no positivity.

Then I started questioning the voices in my head. When it said, “It won’t work out,” I asked, “Why not?”

When it whispered, “You’re not enough,” I asked, “Who said so?” It didn’t silence the negativity overnight, but it did help reduce its grip.

Slowly, I started choosing different words, thoughts, and energy. I learned to use words of affirmation. Consistently, I said to myself;