We are Responsible For The Jealousy We Attract

 

You made achievements, bought a car, found love and got promoted at work. Then, somewhere in the midst of all the celebration, there’s someone who isn’t happy about it.  

Have you ever wondered why?

You probably dismissed it as “their problem.” After all, they are supposed to be happy for you, not angry or jealous. That’s a fair point. 

But have you ever considered that even those who appear happy for you might also be jealous? Not because they’re bad people, but because something in your celebration triggered a feeling they couldn’t control.

Sometimes, without realizing it, we flaunt our achievements in ways that feel like we’re throwing them in others’ faces. Our intentions might be pure, but the effect is real. The human heart is fragile, and some emotions, like jealousy, are hard to manage. 

Some people succeed at controlling these emotions with logic and maturity, while others struggle. 

But one thing is certain: no one is above jealousy. The only difference is how well we manage it. 

Even God, in the scripture, is described as a jealous God. A proof that jealousy is deeply woven into the human experience. 

The way we boast or showcase our success can unintentionally stir feelings of doubt, insecurity and resentment in others. People begin to question their worth. 

“How are they better than me? 

“I work harder, so why am I not the one being celebrated?”

The more these questions brew, the deeper the jealousy grows. But is it entirely their fault? No, it’s not. 

We started the cycle. Some of us share our accomplishments because we want others to celebrate with us. Others do it to “pepper their enemies.” And some, knowingly or not, use success as a tool to boast.

So naturally, people respond. 

At work, I have a colleague who recently got married. Whenever she's in, she’s either flaunting the new wigs her husband bought or showing off her latest dress. 

To her, it’s innocent; she just wants others to be happy with her. But while she’s doing this, someone nearby is silently asking:

“God, when will it be my turn?”

“Why is she so lucky?”

Others say things like, 

“Oh, you’re now looking good.” 

But what does that imply? She wasn’t looking good before? 

And the worst part is that she never stops. If people aren’t looking, she’ll walk to their desks to make sure they see her. 

Then we ask why they’re jealous? 

Jealousy most times isn’t born out of hate. It’s a reaction to how we present ourselves. We might not be responsible for the emotions of others, but we’re responsible for the energy we put out. 

So how exactly do we celebrate without sparking this emotion in others? 

Be emotionally aware

Not everyone is in the season of joy. While you’re celebrating, someone is passing through a lot, and celebrations like yours may trigger them and provoke envy. 

This doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t share your joy because someone is in a bad state. But sharing it with care and empathy. Don’t throw it in their face; rather, let them be a part of that moment.

 

Celebrate Privately 

Sometimes, not all celebrations need a public stage. A good celebration with close ones will suffice and reduce unnecessary provocation, jealousy and resentment. 

Acknowledge Others

While celebrating yourself and your success, appreciate the efforts of those around you. 

Before we label others as “jealous,” let’s ask: What did we project? What did we provoke? And how can we shine without throwing shades or provoking negative emotions in others?