How To Survive Your Own Emotions

There comes that moment when your emotions stop whispering and start screaming—and in that moment, survival is no longer about strength, but about clarity. 

Have you ever been in a situation where you can’t control how you feel? Whether it’s anger, frustration, jealousy, love or sadness. The feeling just overwhelms you. Your body and mind are asking the feeling to stop, but your heart is just indifferent to it. It takes a certain amount of self-control and emotional awareness to control that feeling. 

So recently, I had an experience, and this changed my view about certain things. I thought about people who betray or hurt others out of spite or jealousy. Have we ever tried to hear their own side of the story? Not the one their hearts tell, but the one their sane mind and self tells. 

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying to justify evil or violence against others. But what if we learn to follow others and ourselves gently, regardless of what they committed. I’m saying this because the human heart can get out of control, and without proper self-awareness, certain feelings won’t be controlled. 

Have you ever thought about people who kill for love? That looks like madness, but you can also do the same. The only difference is self-control. 

So recently, I was marketing a product for a company and I wasn’t the only one marketing that type of product. We were doing the same thing, but for different brands. Now, when my colleague sold about 2 products and I sold none, I felt bad. All I wanted at that moment was to make sales, too. But at some point, that sadness turned into something else, jealousy. 

For some reason, I became mad and pissed off. While I was going through this rollercoaster of emotions, I regained my consciousness for a moment. Then I asked myself, "Why am I even pissed off and jealous? The other day, I made more sales than they did, so why would I be angry that they’re making more sales than me today? 

Now, it didn’t end there. I convinced myself to end that emotion with valid reasons. But somehow, my heart wasn’t listening. That feeling lingered. I had to force myself to gain back control. As ridiculous as it sounds, it happens to every one of us.

This experience made me think about the people we call evil. What if they couldn’t control it? People who betray or destroy others out of spite, what if they found it hard to get a hold of themselves? 

Mind you, the fact that a person couldn’t control an emotion and commit crimes because of it doesn’t mean that they would escape punishment. They’ll be duly punished. But why don’t we try to understand them, without condemning them so harshly? I mean, if one day, you’re unable to control that bad feeling within you, you may end up in the same situation as them. 

I feel like when we understand people who act due to their emotions and relate with them, there would be lesser evil out there. When we condemn without curiosity, we miss the chance to interrupt cycles of pain.

And to ourselves who fight so hard to control these feelings, I found an easy way out for us. This feeling includes failure. When you feel like you’re failing, it’s your heart at work and not your brain. This is why we need to work with our brains and not our hearts. The heart works with emotions, while the brain works with logic. 

A person who feels like a failure will think otherwise when their brains have convinced them that they’re not; only then can they start gaining real control. Just like in my situation, I got a hold of myself because my mind gave me reasons why I shouldn’t be pissed or jealous. People who fall prey to their hearts, are those who fail to listen to the voice in their head and rather follow the feelings in their heart. 

How Do We Control These Emotions? 

Don’t miss the point of consciousness: 

Amidst  all the chaos and emotions, there’s always a point of consciousness. That moment when you regain control of your mind, and your heart ceases to rule you. That moment is your moment. To gain control, you need to take advantage of the moment when your brain starts working against your heart. 

Just like in my case, my breaking point was when I started asking myself why I was angry, even though I made more sales the other day. That was my brain working against my heart. The heart might seem stronger, but seize that moment and you’ll gain control. 

The Power of Repetition: 

As I said earlier, the heart might be stronger, but there's a reason why you have a mind. This is where your mindset becomes a game-changer. That logical reasoning you gained during your point of consciousness, repeat it to yourself as many times as you can. The more you repeat, the more it sticks.

 At that point, it might seem like you’re just saying things, but in contrast, you’re training your mind. When that word or logic you’ve been repeating to yourself sticks, your heart loses its power over you.

 Let’s say you want to forget someone you once loved. You’re in that process of healing because you’ve found them unworthy of your love. Those reasons why you found them unworthy should be your mantra. Your heart may want to go back, but you can stop that by replaying and repeating those “red flags” you noticed. And the mindset does the rest for you. Train your brain to speak louder than your heart. 

There’s no need to bore you with so many options. These two right here will save you from the dangers of the heart. Recognizing your conscious mind is half the battle. Seizing it as I did is the victory. 

And when the emotions become too intense, get some fresh air, take a shower, sit by a river, stream or any body of water, they have a calming effect. 

Remember, don’t ever say that it can’t happen to you; your heart may do otherwise. We own our body but we don’t fully own it. Full ownership of one’s body happens when we’ve truly learned to gain control.